Love Only After I'm Gone

The September wind brought a chill as it blew through the window. I was staring at the beautifully wrapped box of mooncakes in the cupboard. That was brought back by Dad from out of town yesterday. He specifically told Mom that it was for older brother Henry. Older brother is three years older than me and has always been the favorite of our parents. He's good at school and knows how to talk, but I'm always clumsy and mess things up. Today, Mom and Dad aren't home, and older brother has gone to a friend's house to play. The cupboard door wasn't shut tight, and the sweet smell of the mooncakes crept into my nose like little bugs. I swallowed hard; it felt like two little voices were fighting inside me. One said I shouldn't eat it because it's for older brother; the other said just eat a small piece—no one will notice. In the end, greed won over reason. I tiptoed over, took a mooncake from the box, and carefully took a bite. The sweet filling melted in my mouth; I had never tasted a mooncake so delicious. Before I knew it, I had eaten the entire mooncake. I panicked and quickly put the mooncake box back in its place, wiping the corner of my mouth, afraid of leaving any trace. But I didn't expect my older brother to come back so soon. As soon as he walked in, he headed straight for the cupboard. When he opened the box, he immediately shouted, "One of my mooncakes is missing!" Mom heard the shouting and came running out of the kitchen. She looked at the mooncake box, missing a piece, then at my evasive eyes, and immediately understood. "Ryan, did you eat it?" Mom's voice was cold, her eyes burning with anger. I kept my head down, too scared to say anything, clutching the hem of my shirt tightly. "I'm talking to you!" Mom stepped forward and grabbed my arm so hard it hurt—I nearly cried. "It... it was me." I whispered quietly. "Who told you to eat that? How many times have I told you—it's for your older brother!" "How can you be so thoughtless!" Mom's voice got louder, and she even spanked my bottom. I cried loudly from the pain, but Mom ignored my crying and instead grabbed the remaining mooncakes from the cupboard, slamming them hard onto the table in front of me. "Don't you love eating them?" "Today, I'll let you eat as much as you want!" "Eat all these mooncakes—don't leave a single piece!" Mom pointed at the mooncakes on the table, her eyes full of an unyielding command. I looked at the dozens of mooncakes on the table, trembling all over. With so many mooncakes, there's no way I can eat them all. "Mom, I won't eat anymore. I know I was wrong. Please don't make me eat anymore." I grabbed Mom's sleeve, begging. But Mom brushed my hand away, "Now you know you were wrong? What took you so long? You have to eat them! No dinner, no sleep until you finish!" Just then, Dad came home. As soon as he walked in, he saw me crying, Mom angry, and a huge pile of mooncakes on the table. Older brother immediately ran over, feeling wronged, and said to Dad, "Dad, Ryan stole my mooncake. Mom told him to eat the leftovers, and he even cried." Dad's face instantly darkened. He walked up to me, pointed at my nose, and scolded: "Ryan, why are you so useless? All you do is steal food!" "Your older brother works so hard at school, and that mooncake was a reward for him. How dare you touch it?" I wanted to explain, wanted to say I just wanted to eat it so badly, but Dad didn't even give me a chance to speak. He grabbed a mooncake, forced my mouth open, and shoved it in. Mooncake crumbs choked me, making me cough while tears and snot ran down my face. But Dad kept stuffing mooncakes into my mouth, and Mom stood nearby, watching coldly, not stopping him at all. My mouth was packed full of mooncake, the sickly sweet taste making me feel sick. I looked into Mom and Dad's cold eyes, and Older brother's gleeful face, and my heart felt like it was being cut with a knife. Why do they treat me this way? I'm their child too. I pushed Dad's hand hard, and mooncake crumbs fell all over the floor. "I don't want to eat! I'm not eating anymore!" I cried out, my voice hoarse. "You dare refuse to eat?" Dad got even angrier and raised his hand to hit me. Mom stopped Dad. "Let him eat on his own. If he doesn't finish, he'll just have to stay hungry." They just looked at me like I was a stranger. I sat on the floor, staring at the mooncake on the table, then looked at Mom and Dad again, suddenly feeling deeply wronged. Maybe I was never even supposed to be born into this world? In this family, having an older brother is enough; I'm just an extra. From that day on, a seed was planted deep in my heart. Since they don't pay any attention to me, I'll do something outrageous to get noticed. Even if it means stealing, even if I get beaten or scolded, at least their eyes will be on me.